buttercup

Tom is on his way to New Mexico.  Left yesterday at 2:30 and should be arriving within the hour.  He called me this morning and said they will be operating on his brother (Steve) again today.  Definately removing 2 toes, and maybe more depending on how bad it is when they get in there.  I find myself very emotional today.  My faith is strong, but I hurt because Steve is hurting and he’s losing HIS faith.  It makes my heart physically ache if that makes any sense.  I want to be there sooooooo badly.  But one of us has to stay and carry on with life in my household.  Still have that fish fry Saturday to get through.  25 peeps at my house and no man to fry the fish.  I told dad last night I would be slappin an apron on him and putting him to work.  lol  Have to get my son packed and ready for church trip to Texarkana.  Have to pick up husbands workoad at work… client’s to contact, meetings to attend, projects have to keep going.  Lots to do, but really can’t muster up the energy today to even think straight. 

I don’t often ask for prayers.  I figure if people want to pray for something, they will just do it without prompting.  But today, I’m going to reach out and ask my buddies to pray for my brother in law Steve.  Prayers to revive his faith and let go of his wish to just go ahead and die.  He needs his faith NOW more than ever.  Why is it so easy to have faith when everything is going hunky dory, but when it get’s bad, the tendency to get on a self pity pot and “why me God” and “I just want to give up” and “i can’t do this anymore” becomes so strong?  I just want to shake people and shout at them “THAT’S when you RELY on your faith more than ever! IT’S HOW YOU SURVIVE IT!”

Somehow I’m going to stay away from that homemade cake in the kitchen at work today.  Somehow…

Faith can move mountains, but don’t be surprised if God hands you a shovel.  ~Author Unknown~

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings.  ~Victor Hugo~

I’ve got so much I want to say.  It’s like a head rush… all the thoughts swirling.  I was listening to my new set of Joyce Meyers cds on the way to work this morning.  Little disappointed that it wasn’t HER voice talking, but that of her daughter’s reading Joyce’s words.  Message is the same though, no matter who’s voice I’m hearing.  This set of cds is about 100 ways to simplify our lives.  Some pretty cool stuff I’ve heard so far.  Today, I’m going to concentrate on living in the moment, making every minute count, not think about what I’m GOING to be doing after I finish this, but actually staying in the task at hand, giving it my best effort, joy, and every little piece of me.  It’s the only way to glorify God in our daily mundane tasks.  He instructs us to do this in the Bible. 

I’ve got spin class scheduled for tonight. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!  Nuff said.

Tried a new salad last night.  Chopped lettuce, chopped sweet onion, chopped celery, red kidney beans drained and rinsed.  Mixed with Miracle Whip.  Toasted a piece of whole grain bread to go with it.  It was so lovely that I’ve prepared some more for lunch today.  I realized that lately I’ve been replacing my meats more and more with beans and legumes.  Healthier, lower in fat, just as high in protein, and it comes from God’s green earth.  Used to be a day that I would have to have meat AND beans in a meal.  Talk about doubling your calories.  Although beans are high in calories, they are very filling.  A half cup does the trick for one meal. 

I have found a great cereal at the health food store.  Ezekiel 4:9 cereal.  Right off, the name of the cereal appealed to my spiritual side and I picked it up to read the ingredients.  NO sugar!  Zero. Zip. Nada.  Yeah baby!  Ezekiel 4:9 in the Bible says “But as for you, take wheat, barley, beans, lentils, millet and spelt, put them in one vessel and make them into bread for yourself;…”  So I’m all for it, but I’m thinking this stuff is going to taste like cardboard like so many other high fiber cereals I’ve tried.  So I get my bowl out of the cabinet, measure my 1/2 cup out, which is 190 calories (wow) and pour it in the bowl.  Gosh!  That sure does not look like much.  No way am I going to get full on that small amount.  I measure out 1/2 cup of milk.  I throw in 1/4 cup of fresh blueberries.  I ate it.  It was tasty and the blueberries gave me that sweetness that I love.  I actually got full!  What a treat.  It’s going to be a staple in my house from now on.  Not only is it good for a meal, but I can sprinkle it on cottage cheese, yogurt, whenever I want a little crunch.

Weekend is going to be a challenge on the eating front.  Fish fry at my house with lots of guests.  Looking SO forward to it, but must plan a healthier avenue for me without making it complicated.  Yes, there will be beer drinking.  Haven’t had any in a month.  I can pretty much plan for the calories, and even save about 500 calories drinking a different beer than what I normally drink on occasions such as this.  I have red fish in the freezer.  Prolly will bake that, and steer clear of the fried foods.  I have some black olives, pickled okra, cherry peppers that I can pretty up my plate with.  That would take the place of the french fries.  I can whip up a nice garden salad with ease instead of dipping into the cole slaw.  Okay!  Plan in place!  Easyyyyyy Peasyyyyyyy.

Thinking about Jo this morning.  Like her, I’m struggling with my hard headed hormonal about to turn 13 year old who hates school, doing schoolwork, and would rather play than take care of responsibilities first.  There have been reprimands lately, privilages taken away, some crying, and some coming to terms and finally some communication opening up.  We are coming to the downhill side of it… for now.  Pretty sure this won’t be the last episode.  Being a parent is HARD.  Worth every single struggle though.  No better joy I can think of than raising my son.

My husband’s brother is in a bad way.  He has diabetes.  His “good” foot was operated on yesterday.  they removed dead flesh from the top and bottom of the foot.  Today we find out whether or not it will be amputated.  He was pretty drugged up on the phone last night, but he is giving up and contemplating his death.  Not sure whether it was the drugs talking or what.  But I do know that he needs his brother there, right now.  I spoke to my husband about taking the time off work and going to be with him.  I was not really surprised, but pretty disappointed and angered when he began to measure how this would affect his workload.  I don’t know about anyone else, but there will NEVER come a day that I think my work is more important than being there for my family.  He said he would think about making the trip, but there would be nothing he could do… his brother would just be laying there in the hospital and him sitting there.  Maybe there’s nothing he can do physically, but by God in Heaven above, he could BE there for moral support and to encourage and help his brother through this.  Last words I said to my husband last night “Don’t you dare let work become a priority over your brother”.  I felt like slapping that ego of his straight through the window.

How can I be in such a good mood and so joyful when something like this is going on in my family?  One word answer.  Faith.  It’s stronger than it’s ever been in my life, and by having more faith, God is working through me and providing me with the grace I need to help those around me, and to help myself.  This brings peace in my soul, happiness in my life, joy in my heart on a continuous basis… no matter what circumstances surround me.  I’m learning that LACK of faith robs me of God’s grace and the power to overcome obstacles, sorrows, trials, and tough times.  Okay, sermon over… for today. lol   Some day, when I get the courage (I’m working on it), I’m going to write my testimony.  It’s something I’ve been pulled in my heart more and more to do. 

Boy, this is a long blog.  If you read it, hope you get something out of it.  It sure helped me to get all those swirling thoughts in order and now I can concentrate on my work today. 

Huggggggggggggggggggs everyBUDDY!
Shan
If you have one eye on yesterday, and one eye on tomorrow, you’re going to be cockeyed today.
~ Anonymous~

I’m sitting here, and my first inclination is to get depressed.  But I won’t.  We were suppose to weigh in yesterday morning, but that didn’t happen as we had a new internet server installed at the office and it was chaos, so they postponed weigh-in until this morning.  I went ahead and weighed yesterday… showed a 2.5 pound loss.  It wasn’t official though.  This morning, it only showed a 1.5 pound loss.  Huh?  *frown*  Okay, okay, OKAYYYY, I’m the first one to tell people that your weight can fluctuate on a daily basis as much as 4 pounds.  See?  That’s what I get for weighing in yesterday…. obsessing over that scale.  All it got me was disappointment this morning.  Lesson learned. 

I could sit here and tell myself “two flippen weeks and only 1.5 pounds to show for it”.

Or I could say “two beautiful weeks and healthy eating and movement and I’m down 1.5 pounds!” 

I’ll take the second mindset thank you very much.   I look at the past month since I started this contest.  I’ve lost a total of 8.5 pounds.  That 2 pounds a week, which is at the top of my goal range.  I’ve got more energy.  I feel great.  My clothes fit looser, and I’m starting to wear some clothes that I haven’t worn since I gained back 10 pounds from reaching goal last time.  I KNOW I’m putting on some muscle.  All good stuff, so I’m a happy camper.

I read something in a novel last night…. “The wheels have to be turning if your going to get somewhere”.  Really struck me.  It’s true for so many areas of my life.  If I want to see changes in my life that I desire - spiritually, mentally, physically - then I’m going to have to move those wheels, take risks, face fears, etc. to get where I want to be.  It won’t happen if I keep doing nothing.  I can’t grow spiritually if I don’t read God’s word and learn His truth and practice applying it in my life.  I can’t grow mentally if I don’t seek out knowledge from various sources, you guys being one of those sources.  Every time I log on here and read, I pick up pointers and tips and learning something new.  I can’t grow physically healthier if I don’t apply the knowledge I’ve gained and practice self control in my food choices and do what God designed my body to do, which is MOVE. 

You peeps ready to rumble today?  Got your spirit up?  Got that ‘TUDE on straight?  Ready to jump on that mojo wagon?

Let’s GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Huggggggggggggggs EveryBUDDY,
Shan
“If you have the will to win, you have achieved half your success; if you don’t, you have achieved half your failure.” — David Ambrose

it was to never EVER give up.  Try try again.  Do it over.  Keep going.  Get mad.  Get happy in the same shoes you get mad in.  If something is not working, re-think my approach.  Try again.  Seek answers to problems.  Dig deep.  Always keep learning.

Since I’ve been a member on this site, I’ve reached goal.  I’ve gotten greedy.  I’ve wanted perfection instead of reality.  It was my downfall.  Pushing myself beyond my limits, causing injury, which put me at a dead standstill, and then found it hard to get back to what I knew to do.  That lasted months.  I gained back weight because of it.  I did not stay down.  I learned from it.  Not bragging, just plain facts.  Now I’m going for goal again.  This time, I’m doing it smarter… because I learned from my daddy.  The man I butted heads with for years.  Go figure.

WARNING - don’t read any further if you don’t want a harsh dose of the facts.

You get out of this life what you put into it.  Period.  Choices.  What’s important?  How BAD do you want it?  Why?  I’m mean WHY?  Changes.  HARD changes.  A little blood, sweat and tears for your dreams…

You want to be thinner?  You want to FEEL better?  You want more self-esteem?  You want a better life?

Welp, it sure ain’t gonna be handed to you on a silver platter by some little angel that flits down from heaven while you sit on your duff shoveling bon bons in your mouth in front of the tv, and it ain’t gonna happen by being sedentary because there’s always a fresh start “tomorrow”. 

You want it, you have to GO AFTER IT, cause nobody else is gonna do it for you.  I don’t care how many flippen times you fall on your ass, if you want it bad enough, you WILL get back up,  learn from the experience, and go for it again.  This trait is distilled in ALL OF US when we were born.  If it weren’t, we would have never learned how to walk as babies.

If you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake everything on obtaining it.
~Brendan Francis~

There is a great deal of difference between the eager man who wants to read a book, and the tired man who wants a book to read.
~G.K. Chesterton~
 

inside and out.  Nothing else.  Just wanted yawwwwwl to know that and be prepared.

 I’m feelin fine and funky and just a little bit spunky.  No tellin what’s gonna come out of my mouth today….

HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS,
Groovy Buttercup

Some days are just going to start out crappy and there’s nothing we can do about it.  Mine did.  My whole routine was shot this morning.  I’m SO a routine person. 

I was starving for some reason last night.  I ended up going 300 calories over my daily goal.  Not sugar and bad stuff… all healthy, but still over.  Did NOT want to log it on FitDay, but I sucked it up this morning and logged to see what the damage was.  300 calories over.  BUT, I still showed a deficit of calories eaten versus calories burned.  So a small satisfaction there. 

But whatcha gonna do?  Let it ruin the whole day?  No ma’m.  I’m gonna grab the devil by the tail and spin him on outta my way. HA!  I’m gonna make the REST of my day better than the first 5 hours have been.  Geez, it’s only 9:00 a.m.!  I’ve got HOURS to make this a better day!

Ready… set… GO GO GO!

 Hugggggggggggggggs,
Shan
“A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction.”
– Rita Mae Brown

I have a lot of weekly goals, but I want to concentrate on ONE this week.  Make it my major focus above all the others.  I think this will be good for me.  This week, I want to concentrate on not reacting impulsively.  This applies to all areas of my life.  It’s only Tuesday, and I’ve already been put to the test several times on this one. 

It’s so easy for me to instantly say what I think, spill some advice, reach for sugar when I want to satisfy and emotional or stressful or energy need, spout off in anger, try to “fix” situations instantly, etc.  I need to practice stepping back… think things through… look to my God for guidance, and THEN take some form of action.  I need to learn more patience with things… with home… with work… with friends… with myself.

That’s my main concentration this week.  It’s a character building goal for me.

 I’m interested to know what your ONE major goal is this week.  The main one.  Cause I’m nosey that way….

Hugggggggggggggggggggggs,
Shan
“To respond is positive, to react is negative.”
~Zig Ziglar~

I forgot my glasses today.  The screenis a blur and I’m depending on my hands sitting on the keyboard right as I cannot see what I’m typing. HA!

THANK YOU SO MUCH for the comments to my last blog.  Jenn, your words were right on the money and got my mind straight.  Big huggggggggggs girlfriend. 

I’m not going away.  How could I?  Got too many peeps here I care about.  I will, however, on those days that I lack compassion and patience, keep my mouth zipped. LOL 

Brown rice and strawberries this morning. Can you say YUM YUM FOR MY TUM?

Going for chinese with a co-worker for lunch.  This is the first time I’ve been out to eat since starting the BL contest at work.  This will be a test of my knowledge in good choices, and my willpower to stick to plan.  I think… no… I KNOW… I will do well.  My sugar cravings are gone and my energy is soaring.  Why would I want to mess with that?  NO sugar for 3 solid weeks.  LUBBLY.  Sorry Nancy, but I DO have my one packet of Splenda each day split between 2 cups of coffee.  A girl’s gotta have some vices.

I woke up this morning wondering if Anj’s husband is alive and flattened like a pancake on the road somewhere.  I wondered about Catrina’s sister in law and said an extra prayer.  I wondered about Jo and whatever she’s going through… prayed for her also.  I wondered about Jane and how’s she’s liking her new bike.  I wondered about the many Debs I’ve come to love here, and prayed for strength for them all (you girls know who you are).  I wondered about my new buddy Yani and I’m sending good cybervibes her way. 

This is OUR day peeps.  Our day to shine!  Our day to glow!  Our day to make it the best it can be.  Our day to show the world that WE ARE WORTH IT… WE ARE STRONG… WE WANT BETTER FOR OURSELVES… AND WE LOVE OURSELVES ENOUGH TO “JUST DO IT”.  WE ARE NOT AVERAGE PEEPS.  WE ARE PEEPS WITH A PURPOSE AND A PLAN.
 

SO GET BUSY!!!Remember, the average person never reaches the mountaintop because you can’t get to the mountaintop on average effort.

gggggggggggggggggs,
Shan

I was going to bulletin my buddies with something I learned last Sunday.  I was not going to blog it because it IS about my Christianity and this IS a weight loss site, not a religious site.  But I changed my mind, because something just happened to me that puts what I learned to the test.  So WARNING – don’t read if this bothers you.  I’ve already probably hurt someone on this site and have had no response to my apology, and I’m considering taking a hiatus from this site for awhile because of it.

There is always going to be situations in our lives that we must face that we would rather not face.  There is always going to be stressors and predicaments we get ourselves in.  We must learn new ways of dealing.  That’s where my God comes in, and I’m learning more and more every day to go to him instead of me trying to fix things on my own.  For me, it’s always going to be about balance.  I’ve got a long ways to go, but at least I’m not where I used to be, which was a destructive path that would eventually kill me … not only physically, but spiritually as well.

 I’m sure ready for this work day to end…

and my @ss is gonna look GREAT by the time vacation this summer rolls around.  I absolutely had a blast doing the class.  It felt good to do something different, get out of the house… step out of my norm.  My knee held up really well.  The only time I felt pain is when we went from standing to “hovering”.  The instructor said if it hurt in any way, then just keep standing or sit during that time, or ease up on the bike tension.  So I stood.  Today, I am pretty sore, mainly in the glute area.  I’m definately going to go back.  LOVED IT!

I looked back over my nutrition levels for the last two weeks.  I’ve been keeping a check on the fat/carbs/protein ratio, but not checking the nutrition levels.  I found that, even with my vitamins (which are and excellent vitamin), I’m still not getting enough iron, magnesium, and potassium, so I’ll be searching for ways to get those levels up without raising the calories.

I’ve also been doing some research on the benefits of vegan eating.  It’s very interesting and makes a lot of sense, and I read that if I want to do this, I should ease into it slowly.  I’m considering it, but want to do more research first.  I do know that if I decide to do this, it will not be fully vegan.  It will be pesciterien (sp?), which would incorporate fish into my eating.  I think fish is a very important part of eating healthy.

Since I’ve added complex carbs back into my diet, my energy has SOARED!  I’m currently getting a ratio of fat 20%, carbs 40-50% and protein around 30%.  Lovin the energy, especially since lately I’m averaging 50 hours per week at work, and then there’s my time studying horitculture, studying Bible, housework, laundry, caring for my son, husband, and father.  I’m finding it challenging to get some social life in there.  Hence the spin class I took.  A girl’s gotta stay in touch with the outside world! Work has been frustrating lately to say the least, but in these economic times with so many out there losing their jobs or getting downsized, I count my blessings and work with a smile on my face.

Gonna try a new recipe tonight with kale and chickpeas…. kind of a tipping my toe in the water on the vegan thing. 

Again, yesterday I was a little harsh and cold sounding on some of my comments, and I apologize for that.  Maybe my patience level was not where it should have been.  Maybe I was just having a bitchy day.  I don’t know.  What I DO know… I love the peeps I’ve come to know here, and I care immensely.  And because I have experienced first hand what healthy eating has done for me, and what my spiritual path has done for me… I want SOOO bad for all you beautiful peeps to experience the inner peace and love and joy that I feel.  I want you to never give up, and to grow in love and health.  I want to you realize that you are worth every bit of effort it takes to find that peace and happiness that you so richly deserve.  I want you to realize that you don’t have to run over other people to get there either.  I want you to realize that there IS a healthy balance, and it CAN be reached… time for others, time for yourself, time with God.  It CAN be done!  That’s what I want for ALL of you… and I want you to want it too.

Huggggggggggggggs EVERY BUDDY,
Shan
If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise
-Unknown