buttercup

Jane e-mailed and told me she posted a blog about Uncle Mike.

I cannot even BEGIN to express my gratitude for the prayers… and I can’t even FIND the words to express what you peeps mean to me.  I’ve never ever before in my life seen a community such as this where people give/receive support, not just in our weight loss efforts, but in every path of our lives.  It’s overwhelming the love I see here.

It doesn’t look good for my uncle, and he’s asked me to help him write a will, as he doesn’t have the money to pay an attorney to do it.  This is perhaps the most painful thing I’ve ever agreed to do.  Even agreeing to be the executor of pulling the plug if it came to that last time was not as painful as this is.  It’s like someone just jerking that rug right out from under you feet… the blunt realization that I WILL lose him to this agressive cancer.  I’m numb with the thought of it.  BUT… there is a bright side (there’s ALWAYS) a bright side.  My uncle spent months after his last surgery struggling with his cancer and losing his personality and zest for life… those very traits in him that make me say he’s my FAV uncle.  He finally found his footing again, and has become his old self.  This news of it coming back has not deterred that, and for that I’m so very very grateful.  I don’t think I could bear to see him suffer the emotional trials again.  Even with this news, he is happy and living his life and is a joy to be around.  His hair has grown back from the chemo and he was at the house joking about it the other night.  For the first time, he has chest hair!  And he opens up his shirt and shows me where he has shaved a Superman emblem in it. THAT’S my Uncle Mike that I know and love. 

Angry at God?  No way.  On the contrary, I’m very thankful that He saved him when he bled out twice on that operating table last time, and gave us more time together. 

I’m running on here.  Anyway, you guys, THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOO much for the prayers.  I’m truly grateful.

When/if these 55 hour weeks at work let up, I’ll be back on this site with Buttercup HUGGGGGGGS for days… my promise to you.

LOVE AND HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS,
Shan 

Just blogging away this morning cause I’m still so pumped up from Colt’s track meet yesterday.  He placed 6th in triple jump, didn’t place in the long jump, placed 3rd in the 100 meter, FIRST PLACE in the 400 meter, and FIRST PLACE in the 4 x 400 meter relay (mile relay). OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!  I can’t begin to explain the elation on his face and how it just FED his self-confidence, which he needed so badly at this time in his life.  Set that boy on fire!  Mama Shan found herself running down the fenceline with him in the home stretch hollering until she didn’t have any voice left.  Lot’s has changed since my track days in the 70’s (winces at how long ago that was).  Nothing in yards any longer.  It’s meters instead of yards and miles.  No one allowed on the infield any longer either. WAAAAAAAAAAA.  That is just NOT going to do.  Next track meet, I WILL be putting on the school colors of blue and gold, I WILL have a whistle hanging around my neck, I WILL have a clipboard in my hand, and I WILL be marching out there on the infield, looking like I belong there. HA!  Since he ran in just his normal every day tennis shoes that he wears to school, I can only imagine how well he will do once I get his track shoes next week.  No spikes yet, but I will get him better shoes designed for track runs. 

Weekend ahead is looking great, a LOT better than last weekend.  Get to go to Sam’s and get her garden tilled and planted.  Baby shower to attend.  I made up THE cutest basket full of stuff.  Healthy eating… it doesn’t look so great.  Tom making his wonderful chicken enchiladas, so I’m going to have to use strict portion control on that.  I’m cooking a pot of fresh black beans, so I’ll fill up on that, a small portion of the enchiladas, help myself to a hefty side of lettuce and tomatoes, and forego the spanish rice.  Taking lots of fruit and lowfat plain yogurt and some steel cut oats.  Sam knows I’m in this BL contest, so she will understand.  Crossing fingers that my elbow (tendonitis) holds up through the gardening.

Time to git.  LOTS to do at work today before I leave.   When is there not? lol

HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS EVERYBUDDY!
Shan

Take the time to work

It is the price of success.

Take the time to think

It is the source of power.

Take the time to play

It is the secret of perpetual youth.

Take the time to read

It is the fountain of wisdom.

Take the time to be friendly

It is the road to happiness.

Take the time to dream

It is hitching your wagon to a star.

Take the time to Love and be Loved,

It is the commandment of God.

Take the time to laugh

It is the music to the soul.

(Author Unknown)

Another 5 1/2 pounds gone!  Currently running in 2nd place, total of 14.5 pounds lost since January 1, and 4 more weeks of this contest to go.  I’m very pleased.  Eating God’s food that He provides on this earth is one of the BEST things I ever did for myself. 

My weekend girls trip with my sister turned to crap.  Planned on going to see a semi-pro hockey game.  We never made it.  Drove 2 1/2 hours to her house.  Within 1 hour she was drunk, couldn’t even get me out of her neighborhood to meet up with the other women to make the trip to the hockey game.  She chose to drink.  I chose to drive 2 1/2 hours back home.  Very emotional time.  I hurt for her and her struggle with alcoholism.  In a way, it was a turning point in my life that night.  She’s always… all my life… been able to back me in a corner and make me feel like the one that is in the wrong.  Always.  And I’ve always allowed it.  Always been the one to back down, say I’m sorry, keep the peace.  When she pointed fingers at me this time for “giving up on her and leaving her”, something inside me clicked.  No anger or dissapointment left in me.  Told her I love her and I will never ever give up on her.  I also told her I no longer choose to let HER choices take me down into emotional hell.  I’ve done everything I can do for her.  Gave her my own personal testimony (never before have done this with any other person), poured my heart out, been there to listen, prayed for her.  There’s nothing left I can do.  It’s hard to admit that, but it is what it is.    Why I’m writing this here I don’t know.  Maybe because I recognize that it was a turning point in my life and my own self-worth issues.  Not letting her run MY show for the first time.  Even at this middle age stage in my life, I recognize that there is still room for my own growth, and however painful it my be sometimes, I hope I continue to grow until the day I pass from this earth. 

Colt has his first track meet today.  I’m excited beyond description.  Another point of reflection for me.  3 generations… my dad, me, and now my son.  Seems like just yesterday I was holding and rocking him in my arms, and here he is 6′ tall, 13 years old, finding his own little nitch in school, actually excited about competing and loving it.  The coaches entered him in the 100 meter, the 400 meter, the 400 meter relay, the long jump, and the triple jump.  I’m pumped up in joy for him.  Brings back so many track memories of my own.  I hope it instills in him what it did in me… a healthy competitive spirit, determination, honor, integrity, and discipline. 

The HUGGGGGSSSS?  Just because.  I’m a hugger.  People that know me here know that I hug.  It’s just who I am.   Our sense of touch is so important.  Established a long time ago somewhere in our childhood the physical embrace of family is our first memory of being hugged and loved.  Suddenly our connectivity to the human race has relevance as we discover our need for others.  Hugging sends a message that communicates friendship, love, support, romance, or merely a greeting of some kind.  A hug also tells others they are valuable and important to you.  A hug can be a comfort in painful times, reestablish friendship or merely be a way to say, “Hello, I’ve missed you.”  Scripture tells us to “love one another.”  It is probably the most important commandment of all.  Hugging someone tells them things are going to be okay.    

I hugged my son this morning.  I hugged my dad goodbye.  I hugged my husband even though I knew I was going to see him in a few minutes at work. 

I urge you to hug someone today.  See how good it feels…

Huggggggggggggggggggggggggggggs everyBUDDY,
Shan

Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you; not because they are nice, but because you are. (Author Unknown)