buttercup

Have I lost weight?  Don’t know, haven’t weighed.  Have I exercised?  Nope.  I’m just now getting over a horrible head cold.  Rested at home for 3 straight days.  Averaged 12 hours of sleep each night, which I guess my body needed.  Performing miracles at work for my boss yesterday which made it a very stressful day.  Haven’t been able to get on BuddySlim much, so behind on the blogs.  So why am I so happy?

I DON’T KNOW!  Maybe it’s because I’ve heard from 2 people some good news that warmed my heart and was an answer to some prayers.  Maybe it’s because I’m on the downhill side of this head cold.  Maybe it’s because I’ve eaten well the past week.  Maybe it’s because my body has gotten some rest.  Maybe it’s because I’m not constipated any more (ya think?)  Maybe it’s because it’s just Tuesday, and the air is crisp and cold and the sun is shining and I have a warm bed to sleep in, food in my pantry, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, shoes on my feet, a job to pay the way, a God who loves me, a family who is healthy, and friends by my side, both in 3d land and cyberland.  I mean, C’mon!  I’M THEEEEEEE LUCKIEST GIRL ON THE PLANET EARTH!

K, had to get that all outta my system…  I’m so looking forward to Thanksgiving Day this year.  I’m looking forward to all the cooking and preparation.  I’m looking forward to friends and family being there.  I’m crossing fingers for a beautiful day.  MY goal for this Thanksgiving is to ENJOY it.  Eat what I want and not overstuff myself.  I’ve got a clear picture in my head of past Thanksgivings where I ate until I was miserable, and the rest of the day was a bust because I had let gluttony have it’s way.  Not this year.  I’ve got goals and plans.  I want to eat until I’m satisfied, enjoy every morsel, and push away from the table feeling SATISFIED, not MISERABLE.  I’m babysitting my Uncle’s 5 month old 67 pound Airdale puppy, and I’ve got my sights set on a walk in my woods, romping and playing with my pets (2 large, 2 small), feeling the crunch of crisp fallen leaves under my feet, raising my face to cold crisp air and watching my frosty breath as I breath in and out, thanking God for my many MANY MANY blessings.  Only by His grace am I where I am today.  I remember a Thanksgiving past that it was a turkey sandwich from the 7-Eleven store.  God, He’s brought me a long way. *big smile* 

Yep, today I’m happy.  Please all my buddies and friends, BE HAPPY WITH ME!

Huggggggggggggggggggggs,
Shan
May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

I have no trouble drinking my water during the hot summer months, but cooler weather gets here, and I fall by the wayside. 

My wise old Dad gave me a wonderful suggestion last night when I was whining about it.  He said “why don’t you quit putting that cold ice in it and drink it at room temperature?  It’s better for your body that way anyway”.  What?  Could it be that my dad who fights me every step of the way when I try to get healthy food down him, has offered me up a piece of advise that actually makes sense?  YES! 

I tried it.  It works.  Thought I would pass this on to others who have trouble getting their water intake daily. 

I got up this morning, put on my workout clothes, made my cup of coffee, and sat down for my Bible study.  I really got into it this morning, and the time got away from me, leaving me no time to exercise.  I thought “oh well, there’s always tomorrow”, but after coming here to BuddySlim this morning, reading some AMAZING inspirational blogs, I am now determined to FIND A WAY to get in some exercise this day.  Make THIS DAY count!  Make THIS day the best one ever, in ALL ways.  I won’t accomplish that unless I get my exercise in.

So here’s to great peeps, inspirational blogs, and friends helping friends.
clink-clink *water glasses*

HUGGGGGGGGGGGS,
Shan

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
(Dr. Seuss)

This is going to be quick (yeah right) as I have a TON of work today, but I wanted to report in on my week.  I’ll grade myself for the week with a “B”.  I actually got in 3 workouts, did okay (not great) but okay, on the eating healthy and I stayed focused on just getting back on track.  My weekend was spent at my sister’s house in Longview.  She has an amazing workout room and I took full advantage of it Saturday morning.  I had a TON of stress to get rid of and that workout helped me tremendously to get through some tough stuff.  I had my choice of so many pieces of workout equipment, exercise dvds, etc. to choose from.  It was like being in candyland. HA!  Her house was also FULL of sweets.  What a temptation it was for me.  Thankfully, it was also full of healthy stuff.  I had some sweets but did not binge, which is a huge step of self-control for me.  I ate healthy fruits and yogurt with nuts for breakfast.  Sunday afternoon she took us out to a fabulous Mexican restaurant where I did not make healthy choices.  I can’t even say that I stayed within portion control.  What I CAN say is that I did not finish my plate and become so stuffed that I was miserable.  I was more full than I needed to me, but not full enough to have to undo the button on my pants and want to lay down and take a nap. LOL  So yes, all in all, I’ll give myself a B for the week.  It was a pretty good “getting back on track week” for me. 

This week, I’m going for a little more focus.  I’m going for at least a B+.  Baby steps.  Listen to my body.  Listen to my knee.  Get in at least 4 days of exercise.  I’m going for no sugar again.  I didn’t make that goal last week, but I did keep it under control.  So keep at it. 

Read the following in my e-mail this morning.  From sparkspeople.com.  A great reminder to me and thought it would be some good tips for others.

Become More Active Every Day

Experts recommend at least 30 minutes of exercise, 5 days a week. Moderate-intensity activity causes a slightly increased rate of breathing and heart rate. It can be described as feeling “light” to “somewhat hard”.

Easy ways to add this type of activity to your daily routine:

Huggggggggggggggggs,
Shan 

Success will never be a big step in the future, success is a small step taken just now.  (Jonatan Mårtensson)

Lotsa peeps struggling this week.  Lotsa peeps need our extra prayers.  Lotsa peeps need some motivation lately. 

I am just coming out the other side of needing to get my butt back on track.  I know its tough, but if we stay FOCUSED, look for motivation anywhere we can find it, take it ONE day at a time, then we WILL succeed!

Remember that it’s not just about being thin.  It’s about having energy.  Being healthy.  Building our self-esteem.  Making ourselves better peeps so that we can help others.  It’s about love, forgiveness (self and others), kindness, and determination to do what is RIGHT.

Now let’s get out there and show this world what we are made of!

Hugggggggggggggggs,
Shan

“When you get into a tight place and it seems that you can’t go on, hold on — for that’s just the place and the time that the tide will turn.”
– Harriet Beecher Stowe 

What is the best bumper sticker you’ve ever seen?

If you were going to design one, what would it say?

The best one I’ve ever seen says “Are you following Jesus this close?”.

If I designed one, right now at this moment in my life, it would prolly say “Duct Tape - The New Diet Patch”

I woke up this morning before the alarm went off, about 4:00 a.m.  I lay there in bed listening to the thunder and rain outside, and my husband beside me, snoring to beat the band.  I wondered what this day would bring.  The snoring next to me irritated me.  The thunder outside was a reminder that I would not see any sun today.  I felt myself beginning to wither down further under the covers, not wanting to face anything today.  So I prayed.  I asked for God’s grace to not be ugly today, to not be depressed.  I asked for the strength to rise and make this day a better one.  And I began to think in a new light.  I should be thankful for the rain today.  We need it.  I should be thankful to have a wonderful man laying next to me who provides and protects and loves me.  And I thought about the bed I was laying in, and I was thankful for the warmth and comfort.  There are soldiers out there sleeping in trenches with sand blowing in their faces, protecting this country.  I got up, tiptoed to the dresser and got out my exercise clothes and went to the living room.  I made a cup of coffee and sat down to read my Bible.  The book of Luke is a wonderful book.  Luke was a physician and I tried to imagine what it was like back in those days for a physician.  I was amazed at his faith, and it strengthened my own.  I sat and thought some more.  Where I am in my life.  How much damage I’ve done to my body through the years.  A knee that needs to be replaced, a shoulder with bursitis and bone spurs, the aches and the pains of a middle aged woman.  It finally hit me hard (God does slap when He needs to).  I’m never going to be young and strong and lean and 20 years old again.  I’m never going to be 30 years old again.  Heck I’m almost out of the 40’s now.  And with this time, comes a time of acceptance of who and what I am.  I’m middle aged.  But I’m wiser now.  My heart is kinder and more loving.  The crows feet I’ve earned.  Even though my body is aging, I have a spirit deep within me that fights harder to be a better person on the inside.  I accept that.  I accept that although I’m not the weight I would “like” to be, I am in pretty good health.  I can still “do”.  I can still help others.  And I can show my child how a person can grow older gracefully.  I’m not in control.  But I have someone in my heart who has the steering wheel, and if I don’t fight it, life can be good.  I may not like who was voted president of the country.  Not because of his color, but because of my religious beliefs regarding pro-life, etc.  But I can be more accepting of it.  He is now this country’s leader, and I can give him the respect and support he deserves.  I pray for him and this huge task he has before him for the next 4 years.  And so with those thoughts, I felt renewed.  I actually popped in my cardio sculpt dvd and did 20 minutes.  Granted, it wasn’t much, but it is a start back to the path I want so desperately to be on.  When my knee began to hurt, I eased up and turned the dvd off.  20 minutes.  I smiled.  Not to bad lady.  I prepared lunches and breakfasts for the day.  I took a hot shower.  I dressed nicely.  Just because I’m not at the weight I want to be, doesn’t mean I have to wear baggy sloppy clothes and look like a slob.  I put on my Poise pad for the day just in case I “sneeze”.  I plucked my chin hairs.  I took inventory of the fading color in my hair and made mental note to call the hairdresser.  I looked in the mirror at the finished product and I actually smiled.  Amazing how a smile can make a person look 10 years younger.  I went to the kitchen, got out my cherry juice (for arthritis), mixed with water, and magnesium citrate (for constipation) and drank it down, marveling at how the flavor of cherry can mask a taste of something I don’t care for.  I filled my pill box… 3 vitamins for the day, extra calcium for the aging bones, the tiny blood pressure pill I’ve been on now for a year… put them in my purse, grabbed my keys, hollered at my men to load up, gave my 72 year old father a kiss on the cheek and wished him a wonderful day, and walked out with more confidence in myself than I’ve felt in a long time. 

With acceptance comes maturity… wisdom.  I could learn a lot from my father.  *smiles*

My goals for this week. 

That’s about it, which is a good thing, cause the magnesium is about to kick in…

Hugggggggggggggggggs EveryBUDDY,

Shan

Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance. (Brian Tracy)

This is NOT a pretty or upbeat blog, so be warned.  I’m posting this for two reasons.  Maybe it will help someone else, and I want something here on this site that I can go to when I feel on the verge of binging again, which is a pretty good bet that I will.  I have been keeping a food journal this week to share with a buddy, trying to help each other.  I’m glad I did.  It has gotten my off my butt and on my toes with getting complacent with eating healthy.  I did 3 days straight really well.  Yesterday I hit a brick wall.  I didn’t just hit it, but I slammed into it.  I’m posting yesterday’s journal entry here.  I’m not looking for empathy and sympathy.  Like I said, I’m posting this because it may help others, and it’s a strict reminder to myself.  Something good DID come out of this though.  I finally came to the total realization and ACCEPTANCE that I am addicted to sugar, and that to beat this addiction, I just cannot have it, ever.  Yesterday showed me that I cannot handle even a little, and it showed me in stark reality what it does to my body and my moods.  Yesterday is gone.  I’m trying not to dwell on it, but I don’t ever want to forget it either. 

Hugggggggggs,
Shan

Thursday 11-6-08:

 Breakfast:

      1 cup barley

      1 veggie patty

      1 glass water

 Lunch:

      2 slices whole grain wheat sugar free bread

      1 teaspoon mustard

      2 slices turkey lunchmeat

      1 glass water

 Supper:

      3 corn tortillas

      1 cup chili with beans

      ½ cup grated cheddar cheese

      2 cups 2% milk

 Snacks:

      2 frosted cinnamon pop tarts

      1 Reese’s fast break candy bar

      1 Fun size Butterfinger candy bar

      1 cup animal crackers

      2 glasses water

Calories:  2,368

Fat 30%

Carbs 56%

Protein 14%

(The calories are not totally accurate as I can’t count how many pieces of halloween candies from the guy’s bucket next to my cubicle I indulged in… star kists, sweet tarts, malted milk balls, etc) 

Notes:  This, evidently, was NOT a good day.  Total sugar binge mid-afternoon.  I tried to tell myself that I could have one of something sweet, knowing from past experience this would not work.  Why?  Mid-life crisis feelings.  Gyno appt. set it off.  Discussions of having to have mammograms yearly now because of my agggggggggge.  What to do about the hot flashes, the constipation, the mood swings.  By the time I left, I FELT OLD and thought “what’s the fucking use” (pardon my language, but I’m being honest here, that was my exact thought).  Thoughts of my xmas wish list (sarcasm in full swing): Milk of Magnesia for the constipation, gift certificate to health food store for menopausal herbs, gift certificate to radiologist for mammograms, hand fan for the hot flashes, oh, and let’s not forget about tweezers for the chin hairs that seem to be multiplying, box of dye for my graying hair, year’s stock of ibuprofen for those arthritic joints…. blah blah blah.  Total pity party.  Tom tried to help by offering to cook supper.  So sweet.  So what did I get for supper?  Corn totillas fried in grease, topped with chili and cheese.  I felt I could not say no without hurting his feelings.  He was trying to help.  With a feeling of “who cares anyway”, I plowed right into it.  Rolaids were in order by bedtime.  Stomach rolling, hot flashes coming in waves (that started right after the sugar binge).  Downward spiral in my mood.  Nobody to blame but myself.  And yep, to top it off, no exercise once again.  Let’s see what this fine Friday will bring me.  Can I talk myself out of this low self esteem and feelings of failure and make it a better day, or will I let one bad day turn into two?  Totally up to me.

From one of my FAV writers… this was just too good not to share with my BuddySlim peeps!

Hugggggggggggggggggs,
Shan 

Healing starts with me.  Regardless, be it physical, mental or spiritual healing we have to take the first step.

There are a few things we can do to make that first step a giant one. 

They include:

1)    Listen carefully.  What you learn and hear from others can be a great learning tool.

2)   Respect yourself and love who you are.  If you don’t love you how can you love others and besides God don’t make no junk.

3)   Do whatever it takes to be strong and healthy.

4)   Be teachable and coachable.

5)   Don’t be “to good” for anything.

6)   Do the absolute best in everything you attempt.

7)   Obey the rules and understand why they are in place.

   Don’t focus on negative.  Look for only good in every situation and in every person.  Negative drags you down and beats you up.

9)   Consistently push yourself beyond what you think you can do.  You’ll never know your talents and limitations until you look them square in the face.

10) Keep your promises or don’t make any. Your promise, your word is who you are and what you symbolize.

11)  Smile.  It creates positive vibes.

12) Pat someone else on the back and praise their efforts. What goes around comes around.

13) Pray consistently.  Ask God to change you so you can help change someone else.

14) Remember everyone struggles and while your cross may be heavy there is always someone with a bigger burden to bear.

15) Never ever forget God loves you and plan is unfathomable.

Each day is what we make it and each day is a day God uses to help us grow strong in his righteousness.

Be Blessed This Day!

Melinda Clements

Yay!  I stayed within calorie limit yesterday. 

Yay!  I upped my water intake.  Still not where it needs to be, but it was an improvement over the day before.

Yay!  Even though I felt a little anxiety, I stayed pretty calm and focused.

Yay!  It feels sooooooooo good to get back to my spiritual studies/prayer.  Why I ever let this go even for one single day is beyond me.  When I am at my worst is when I should be right smack dab in the middle of my spiritual prayer and study.  It works every single time.

Oops…  Cutting back on my meats, so no protein for breakfast or lunch.  By mid-afternoon, I was STARVVVVVVVING.  So instead of fruit for snack, I had tuna.  This helped stave off the sugar binge I felt on the verge of.  Lesson learned.  Don’t wait until the end of the day to get protein in.

Oops… My schedule for the day hit a glitch.  Change in football schedule (which my son forgot to mention).  So ended up going to a football game instead of straight home.  This put me right back into STARVVVVVVVVVVVING situation.  I had planned to prepare hamburgers for the guys last night and I knew I was going to be strong and have something healthy like lentils or tuna.  BUT, the tuna was eaten at snack time.  By the time we got home, I was so tempted to just wolf down a juicy cheeseburger with the rest of my family.  But I did stick to my guns.  I boiled lentils and mixed with whole grain rice that I already had cooked.  Added a teaspoon of picante to it, and drank a cup of milk.  I wanted TWO cups of milk, but I made myself just have one and not down it in one gulp. LOL  So I guess I would call this one a YAY/OOPS.

Oops.  No exercise, again. *sighs*.

Yay!  I was confident in the fact that I would get up this morning and exercise.  I even laid out my exercise clothes and got morning routine things prepared as much as I could so I would have the time.

Oops.  I had a restless night’s sleep.  Tossed and turned.  Election on my mind.  My son and his football game loss on my mind (the boy takes it so hard when they lose…really gets down on himself).  Woke up this morning feeling like I had been through a paper shredder.  So no exercise… again. *sighs*.

I’m going to get there.  I know I will.  I’m focused.  I have desire.  I have the ability.  And I am taking Jo’s lead and bribing myself with a new pair of shoes I have my eyes on. Nothing like a little incentive to get the old ball rolling.  Will I wait until Monday?  NO!  God willing, the creek don’t rise, and I get a good night’s sleep, I plan to start tomorrow morning, OR… even this evening with a walk if it’s not raining.  Or shoot, if anything else, I can punch on Colt’s kickbag at home tonight for awhile.  In fact, add my mp3 player to my head and that sounds like FUN!  YAY!  It’s a plan!

Okay peeps.  It’s hump day.  Elections are over.  Whatever will be will be.  Time to carry on and GET IT DONE!

Huggggggggggggggggggggggs,
Shan
 

The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there. (Unknown)